18
Ad Rates & Info: 1-877-773-8747
Dear Dog and Cat...
When I say to move, it means to go someplace
else, not switch positions with each other so there
are still two of you in the way.
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain
your food. The other dishes are mine and contain
my food. Please note that placing a paw print in the
middle of my plate and feed does not stake a claim
for it becoming your feed and dish, nor do I find
that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed
by NASCAR and is therefore
not a racetrack. Beating me to
the bottom is not the object. Trip-
ping me doesn't help either, as I
fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than
a king size bed. I am very sorry
about this. Do not think I will resort
to sleeping on the sofa to ensure
your comfort. Look at videos of dogs
and cats sleeping. They can actually
curl up into a ball. It is not necessary
to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out
to the fullest extent possible. Please note that stick-
ing tails and tongues out to maximize space used is
nothing but sarcasm.
My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the
bathroom. If, by some mir-
acle, I beat you there and
manage to get the door
shut, it is not necessary to
claw, whine, try to turn the
knob, or to get your paw un-
der the edge and try to pull
the door open. When I exit
this room, I will come out
the same door I entered. In
addition, I have been using
bathrooms for years. Canine
and/or feline attendance has
never been necessary. Also,
the toilet bowl is to relieve myself, it
is not your personal water bowl (so don't
look at me like that when I go in it).
The proper order is kiss me, then go
smell the other dog's butt, I cannot
stress this enough. It would be such a simple
change for you.
ANimAl hospitAls
We love
vintage pet pics!
Email your vintage pet photos (1970 or earlier) and a brief description to:
FRANK@PHILLYPETPAGES.COM