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pet WAste remoVAl
Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but
seldom, if ever, smell one another?
Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on
your couch? Or is it still the same old story?
Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jag-
uar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray,
and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How
often do you see a cougar riding around? We do
love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the
"Chrysler Eagle" the Chrysler Beagle"?
Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest
and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal
instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers,
beeper s, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields,
and Frisbee flight paths What do humans under-
stand?
Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
letter to goD, from the Dog
Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there
are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the
things I must remember to be a good dog.
I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or
·
after they throw it up.
I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.,
·
just because I like the way they smell.
The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
·
I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter
·
box, although they are tasty.
The sofa is not a `face towel'. Neither are Mom
·
and Dad's laps.
The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
·
My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
·
I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches
·
in for Mom's driver's license and registration.
I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear
·
when he's on the toilet.
Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an
·
unacceptable way of saying "hello".
I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when
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I'm under the coffee table.
I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before
·
entering the house - not after.
I will not throw up in the car.
·
I will not come in from outside and immediately
·
drag my butt.
I will not sit in the middle of the living room and
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lick my crotch when we have company. 16. The
cat is not a `squeaky toy' so when I play with him
and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good
thing. And, finally, my last question...
Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my
testicles back?
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